Which Woman Should Go On The $10 Bill?
The US Treasury just announced that they will be putting a woman on the $10 bill. Sorry Andrew Hamilton, but your stupid bow tie and snarky demeanor simply aren’t cutting it. This only went to...
View ArticleRachel Dolezal’s Bravery Inspired Me to Finally Come Out
In light of the recent breakthroughs in how we define ourselves as people, I have an important announcement to make. When I first heard of that courageous woman coming out to stand up for who she...
View Article10 Condom Innovations The World Needs
Recently, at UK’s Teen Tech Awards, three teenage boys won an award for coming up with a concept for condoms that change color when in contact with STIs (sexually transmitted infections for the...
View ArticleWhat’s Cookin’, Average-Lookin’: Regular Dude Makes Fancy Food
tf am i even reading lol I’m holding a live lobster over a pot of boiling water. I literally have this creature’s life in my hands. I consider the weight of this statement. Then release it into the...
View ArticleA Straight Guy Experiences Magic Mike XXL
My palms were admittedly moist, beset with a covering of anxiety dew that spoke of someone about to venture into unknown territory. As the lights dimmed I checked yet again for the nearest exit, in...
View ArticleFour Tips You Can Learn From Pickup Artists
Back in the early aughts, we had the cultural shart of pickup artists. There were articles, bestselling books, and even a VH1 reality show about it (remember when VH1 was a thing?). Pickup artistry is...
View ArticleA Dude’s Mental Prep List While Getting Date-Ready
While it’s generally thought of that the woman is the one who spends hours (days?) fretting over her appearance for a date, us fellas also take some time to ensure we look as bangeable — um, I mean...
View Article3 Indispensable Tips for Knowing Thy Jeans On Thy Self
Every guy should have a pair of jeans. In fact, I’m willing to bet that every guy has a pair of jeans. Honestly, why wouldn’t you? They’re multi-purpose perpetually fashionable powerhouses, AND gluten...
View ArticleMy Breakup Letter To Tom Cruise
Dearest Thomas, It’s been a while, and I am sorry. I’ve been meaning to check in, but then life happened. You know how that goes. I’m writing you this letter to tell you we should part ways. For good...
View ArticleThree Tips for Being an Adventurous Eater
I had an awkward food experience this summer. I was at a trendy restaurant and was informed ramps were on the menu. As I was about to scoff my most pretentious of scoffs for the suggestion we eat a...
View ArticleIn Response To The Guy Who Ate All The Pizza
I’ve often said that I could eat pizza “all day, err day,” after which I’m promptly reminded that I’m quite clearly a nerdy white dude who can never pull off saying “err day.” Haters aside (also...
View ArticleBoost Your Bangability: The Importance of a Good Haircut
When I walk into the just-now-shamlessly-promoted Persons of Interest barbershop, I point at my barber and say “Hey Matt, let’s do that voodoo that you do to my ‘do!” Then I hook my fedora perfectly...
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